Traces of Yesterday
by AsrarSonya
Summary: Tru is writing in her journal the happenings of day 1 and day 2. But does she really describe how she truly feels? Jack, on the other hand, has more courage to own his feelings.


**Traces of Yesterday**

**A Tru Calling fan fiction**

**By Sonya (Elizologist) **

_"August 8__th__, 2005_

_Dear Diary,_

_This by far has been the worst day in the short 23 years of my life!" _her hand agitatedly pressing on the pen as she scribbles in her light beige paperback journal. A tradition she had started once she realized she had the power to go back in time and save souls from premature deaths.

_"I am on the verge of having a - Majorly powerful, excruciatingly painful, sufficiently deadly - stroke." _Or is she? Tru's exaggeration style is one way of expressing her distracting frustration with her ever-increasing battle with death, or more accurately, its advocate. Something she has taken as inevitable.

_"Jack is unbearable."_ She writes, but her heart believes otherwise. _"He's driving me crazy."_ The distinguishable frown-lines drawn on her forehead hide her heart's blemish amusement. _"Sometimes I just want to finish him."_ A desperate shriek beneath which a subliminal message that reads "Sometimes I just want to hug him" exists. Tru's journal is filled with opposing phrases, contradicting the gravity of her emotions. The deliberate obstruction of the natural flow of her true feelings is evident throughout this significantly valuable book of wonder. Jack's presence alone stirs an awe she cannot explain, but rather be dazed with astonishment. Be it his confident masculine posture when facing her, or his zany arrogance when debating with her. Be it the soft compassionate tone in his voice, or the captivating infatuation sparkle in his blue eyes, she is well-aware of her forbidden attraction to this unique character who took her life by storm in the twinkling of an eye.

_"I knew I was making a big mistake when I accepted his invitation"_ though isn't it strange that at the core of her soul she feels a sense of excitement and satisfaction? _"What was I thinking?"_ Obviously she was reacting to that bliss of tingly butterfly sensation in the depth of her heart. _"I should have slapped him once he dared to ask me to be his date, instead of foolishly say yes."_ With this line she finishes the paragraph in an attempt to stamp her denial with graceful pride; faking it, making it more believable.

Overtaken with unforgettably splendid memories of the day before while simultaneously sunk in the bitterness of despair; tears, like raindrops, slowly trickle down her cheeks to return no more. She feels trapped in darkness, swallowed by the dense air, consumed in threatening waves of guilt. Never before has she been in such misery, tearing her soul apart.

In an attempt to patch the garment of patience, she bravely confesses to her wrong-doings; flaws she never knew were even a possibility in the perfectionism of her mind. Her heart shivers as if attacked by a sudden blizzard. _"How did this happen to me? How could it? Why did I let it? Was it Jack's fault? Or am I just trying to find someone to blame? Oh dearest diary, I have filled your pages with phrases like: I saved someone today, and I helped someone today. But now I am ashamed to say that I killed someone today!"_ Tru's soaring pain with its crushing grip spins her confidence out of control. To err is human, but to err when trying to save someone's life is a burden she will carry for eternity. _"How can I ever go on pursuing my dream to be a doctor? Why did she ask for my help when I was the reason she died in the first place? My medical mistake killed her."_ Tru had failed to rescue a dying woman she had found in a car crash near the highway on day one. The medical mistake she committed caused the woman to suffocate and die. _"Thank Goodness for my ability to relive days"_ she continues, "_It is certainly a blessing, a chance to clean up the traces of yesterday, making it all seem like a Mirage. I saved her on the rewind day, and with that, I may have saved myself and my career. I don't know if I could ever go on living had I not saved her on the rewind day or rather not having the chance to. The blazing memories of me being the reason that someone died will be haunting me forever."_ She finally realizes that practicing medicine is not just a lifelong dream, but rather an intense and serious responsibility she has vowed to master. Life will not always be paved with petals of a lotus flower, nor will it be a familiar tune reiterated frequently in the cave of loneliness. Life is a blend of good and bad, ups and down, wins and losses. Screaming words of delusion whenever one is thrown by the wreck of one's heart will not solve any problems. Only in faith can one truly find comfort and grow solutions in the shadow of life's reality.

Sitting on the couch in her apartment, in the still of the night, Tru's teary eyes take frequent glances at her cell phone, reluctantly considering calling the man who surreptitiously inserted his poisonous affection into her soul. _"The question is, would I have been able to save her if Jack hadn't been incredibly annoying all day long? First it seemed to me like he was just being a jerk and trying to stop me from saving her, but as it turns out, he was trying to encourage me to, in his own twisted way. The self-pity and defeat I was swirling with when the day rewound turned into a challenging battle with Jack. By doing that, he helped me focus on the job. I don't know whether to hate him or thank him. Especially now…when things between us have changed dramatically after that stupid date!"_

Tru's mind takes a turn down memory lane, leaving her laughing with mockery at the cramped throbbing in a heart whose love circulation runs through the veins of her soul. Her pen stops writing. Love cannot be spoken or written, for it is merely a manifestation of all languages that can only be perceived spiritually. She realizes how much she misses him. Seconds spent without him by her side are like embers in her blood. All she can think of are those three words, echoing a majestic whisper upon the throne of silence. A volume in a word. A storm in a breeze. A millennium in a moment. Her gratitude to the man she usually loved to hate and now inversely hates to love is like sweet surrender to the rebirth of her heart. Hoping upon hope that his love is like a god that will purify her of her sins.

Flooded images of their romantic midnight dinner on a wooden boat in the middle of the lake overcloud her previous blue thoughts. Memories of a passion desperately trying to break free dwell in sacred splendor. The gazes of their sexy eyes speak the language of souls, like wireless love letters written with endless verses of poetry.

Desire in their hearts burning their ribs like an uninvited but ever so welcome intruder. Jack savors in a breath of air with which the aroma of Tru's long brown hair fills his core with ecstasy. He reaches his hand to touch her neck; goose bumps strike both lovers. A smile bestowed upon her face draws dimples, like stars, lighting up the glorious beauty of her image. He has turned into an ascetic in the temple of her eyes. His mystic presence makes her feel alive. He showers her with tender kisses, like dew drops falling from the sky. Drunken in love, two hearts finally break their long overdue fast. Kindling love-lit souls unite. The crystal clear waters of the lake ripple in harmony. The world stands still in dignified awe.

Magical moment pass like a lifetime consumed in the purest truest passion. The moon shining through little beams of silver light reflecting their smooth bare skin as they lay in the warmth of an embrace.

_"Brings a whole new meaning to walking through the valley of the shadow of death!"_ Tru softly tells Jack in an attempt to break the silence.

_"How deliciously romantic are you!"_ Jack jokes. The two kindred spirits giggle in amusement. With tiny love bubbles floating in the air as blown by the happy invisible flying cupids, their evidently relieved and satisfied eyes finally give in to sleep.

A few precious hours pass until awaken by the alarming daylight. Tucked together in a soft blanket on the wooden boat, watching the sunrise accompanied by the morning prayers of the roaming birds, Jack tells Tru of his true intention for having this historic date. _"I just turned 30!"_ He confesses.

_"What? Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday? I could've at least got you something." _

'''''SNAP'''' Jack takes a picture of the two lovebirds using his cell phone.

_"You did."_ He says. _"You accepted my invitation to come up here. You are here with me now. That makes it the best birthday of my life. I love you, Tru!" _

_"I love you too, Jack!" _

Tru's dreamy eyes glance back at the cell phone lying on the coffee table in front of her. Her thoughts still wandering, her feelings still a mixture of black and white. She can't help but wonder if the real reason why that woman died on her was some kind of cosmic consequence for crossing paths with her rival in an act of passion that is beyond the concept of morality, and against all rules of reason. Sleeping with the enemy must always come with a price. And the best proof is the fact that this was definitely a first for the two to get back in time to a moment when neither of them was asleep. The moment chosen for them to awake was at the climax of their unity in love. Broken in half like an atomic explosion, a division so fierce destructing the gravity of the two opposite poles of nature.

Suddenly, a ringtone so familiar and dear to Tru interrupts the flow of memories and brings her back to the reality of the present. She picks up her cell phone to read the message sent to her by her forbidden lover.

_"I swear… by your name… by your beauty… by your grace… that I love you!"_

With it, an image was sent. Tru clicks to open the image to find a picture of her and Jack in the boat at the break of dawn. Immediately she calls him back.

_"But how? That picture was taken in day one. We never took any pictures on day two. Never got a chance to." _She wonders. _"That's not possible!"_

_"Love defies the laws of logic."_ Jack calmly explains.

_"But it can't be… it's insane!"_

_"Tru, the most reasonable aspect about love is its insanity."_ He confidently says.

_"So what do you think this means? Now that we are in love, does it change anything between us?"_

_"Love is like death… it changes EVERYTHING!" _

Striving to get a good night sleep after a long exhausting and emotionally draining day, Tru closes her journal entry with these words:

_"Now that everything has changed, I don't know what tomorrow holds in store for us. The higher powers are obviously pissed at our daring challenge. But I will not bother worry about it now. I got through this day because of Jack, because of the marvelous bond between us, no matter how irritated he makes me sometimes; he will always have a special place in my heart. Happy birthday, Jack!_

_Hopelessly in love,_

_Tru"_

**THE END**

Author Notes:

This story is dedicated to my friend Lara. Thank you for inspiring me to write fan fiction, and thank you for your support and guidance. I have learned, and am still learning a lot from you.

What inspired me to write this fic is reading a bunch of Arabic poems I once gathered in an old journal, in addition to my own contribution. Looking through that journal revived a lot of sweet memories. Love is a very precious sensation, and the time spent feeling and showing true love is priceless and will be cherished and remembered forever. To all lovers out there, this is the most romantic thing I've written so far. However, It will certainly not be my last ;)

I would also like to point out that in this fic, Tru is writing in her journal the happenings of the day before in addition to the rewind day. Her writing is in italics, and so is the actual dialogue between her and jack. The narration is a translation of what is in her subconscious, knowing that what she writes may contradict what she really believes and how she really feels. I hope it is clear. ENJOY!

(COMMENTS & REVIEWS ARE MOST WELCOME)


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